Coming back to the question of good friends, let me now focus on the type that I mentioned looks upon friendship as merely a business deal.
These are the people who believe in the following formula:
Friendship = treats + running errands + occasional sms/mail/call
For the time being, let me call such people as 'personalities'.
The last term on the right hand side of the above equation is not mandatory, according to most people belonging to this category. Not keeping in touch is attributed to many other causes - namely, carelessness, low balance on cellphone, too stretched for time to send a 2 line email etc. That they may not be interested in actually pursuing an active friendship is never mentioned. Running errands forms a major part of this pseudo friendship though. If you fail to help out such personalities, they follow up with the usual senti - can't you do this for a friend? and so on. Treats form a mandatory part of such a friendship - as though it is the foundation for the very existence of this relation.
What would you call such a friendship? I call this 'putting up with people who think they are your friends'.
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2 comments:
I totally agree.
And its surprising, how some friends you always thought to be among ur 'actual' good friends, slowly become these farzi friends through reduced contact.
Well, "Treat + running errands + Occasional sms/call" :)) Haa haa ! That about sums it up, na! Well, Baab, as I recently told another friend, you can only begin as "Friends" . You cant tell someone at the start of a friendship, tht you will be friends. Whether this friendship develops into a good friendship, is left to the two involved. Friendship involves accepting people as they are. Some people might have rigid outlooks, some might not be very bright.. but, once you connect to a person, you overlook these shortcomings. I have been blessed with several good close friends. Treats are means of meeting and keeping touch, when you dont tend to meet regularly. I dont mind running errands for these good friends, and, I expect that they would not either. But, friendship is not just treats and errands. Whenever I feel low, I donot hesitate to talk to my friends. They may not give me advice. But a friendly pat on the shoulder and some patient listening is all I ask. And, if they ever need any support, I try my level best to always make myself available.
Finally, you should remember to ask. Unless a person is extremely close to you, they cant counter guess wht's going on in your life. Esp if they donot stay close by. "Ask, and you shall receive", as the tenet goes. :)
Hoping you get some good friends, baab :)
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