Karate

My only encounter with this martial art was way back when I was in second grade, and it lasted just three months. As far as I can remember, I quit before I got a belt (That's right; I quit). But I did learn a bit of Karate while I was at it back then. I learnt how to punch and how to kick. Well, that isn't much to speak of, but at least I can say this when I see anyone fighting - 'Hey, I know that! I had paid to learn that!'

I don't get the thing with Karate. Most of my friends who are black belts in Karate tell me that it is more an art to them than a fighting technique. Well, I wonder whatever happened to dancing, singing, painting that we now have to visualize fights as art too. People who have never done Karate in their life tell me it is necessary for self defense. I fail to appreciate this. I don't expect to have the House-of-flying-daggers type killers trying to kill me for which I may have to learn Karate to put up an impressive fight, pun intended. The most likely ways in which ordinary folks like you and me can be killed are by accident. Now don't tell me you are going to kick the heck out of a car when it's about to hit you. Others tell me that it is a way of maintaining your body, balance and improving concentration and focus. Whatever happened to less violent methods like gymming and dancing?

What bugs me most is to see old people practising martial arts after retirement. Taekwondo, Karate and the like. I have a theory here. I believe the old people are short of money after their retirement. And they plan to attack us able bodied fellows one fine day and run away with our money. Quite obviously the senior citizens are waiting their time patiently to stuff our money in their bags and make a dash. And I pity most of you who are wasting their time working hard to earn money while the uncles and aunties are silently preparing for the war. And I pity myself more for knowing this, but still not getting the hang of Karate. I wonder which group is Sam in.

It isn't long before the people who are learning Karate instead of working hard to live good lives will attack us and run away with our money. Don't say I didn't warn you.