Friday, January 30, 2009

Poor ones

I keep getting lots of forwards everyday... but some are so stupid that they are really amazing! Here's an excerpt from one I got yesterday:

Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii
Bahaar Aane Se Pehle Fizaa Aa Gayii....
Phool Ko Khilne Se Pehle Bakri Kha Gayii!

Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon
Saap Ne Piya Bakri Ka Khoon...
Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon! Good Afternoon!

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala...
"Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala!"

Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai...
Dil Mein "Naa" Hain...
Hot aur Dil mein jo bhi ho
Shashi Kapoor ke paas Maa hai!

Premika: "Aisa Khatt Likho Sajna, Ki Meri Umar Beet Jaaye Padhne Mein ... "
Premi: "$@# % #$ @ $ %#$ &&*
!@#@ &&*( )(&% %#$% %#$%#$
!#@!# ?<":::<< $%^$% %#%"
@#@#!! ?#$%^ $#$%&<<
#%$%""}}+ !@??": @@#$$$?:@!! Le Padh!"

Somehow I found this funny at 2 am yesternight.


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Back from Hiatus - with a dream

I know I had announced that I won't be blogging here anymore. But that was a long time ago, and things have changed a lot since then. That was not such a long time ago, but things have changed more than ever since then too, and I am now left with too much time on hand to avoid blogging. So, here I am. Bear me if you can.


If there's one question you shouldn't ask me, it is, "So what do you want to become when you grow up?" (or the interview version of it - "Where do you see yourself x years down the line?") Back when I was a kid, I would've responded with a "Doctor!" (or "Engineer!" depending on whether I was with my mom or dad - yes, I learnt diplomacy at a rather young age). About 5 years back, my answers would have narrowed down to a mere "Engineer!", but suddenly they widened as I coursed through IIT and eventually I ended up as a management consultant (part of the reason why I never voiced this option when I was a kid was that this had altogether too many letters for my liking back then). Anyway, now if this same question is posed to me, don't be surprised to hear me answer "President!"

Oh and before you get me wrong there, let me make it clear. I am interested in becoming the President of the USA. Of late, citizenship issues have been confounding me a lot - I live in a city that I was born in, but of late some residents of which have been marking my people as 'immigrants' (purely because I speak a different language at home; the fact that I speak their language better than even they do doesn't seem to matter). I felt it best to leverage my new-found identity confusion to target the post of international head of oil and natural gas supply, international head of arms, international war coordinator the President of USA. (head of economic incompetency bailout fund)

Why, with an African-American making it to that post now, my ambition still has some hope. And although I lack plenty of credentials that the job requires (yet), the most fundamental, according to me is the '-American' part of it, at least to get me elected if for nothing else. So as of now, even George Bush's dog stands a better chance of making it there than me. Not till long ago, I used to feel that maybe a person not born in USA is not eligible to become president, as per their constitution. But now I have realised that their government doesn't really care about the constitution anymore. And anyway if I don't get elected, I can always approach the supreme court for getting me appointed President (ref. Bush in 2000). If they deny my application, I can sue them for racial discrimination. Next stop, White House.

I am sure this dream of mine is going to set in motion a movement that will lead to people of all possible nationalities and impossible credentials vying to be president. The USA better be prepared for a tidal wave of such applications, albeit not like the one that left hundreds of thousands dead in Indonesia, Thailand etc. a couple of years ago, rending this analogy not only non-funny but also tasteless. Besides, it wasn't even technically correct, with the correct term being 'tsunami' and not a mere 'tidal wave'. What does this have to do with what I wrote above? Nothing at all, but my post was falling short of my target post length by a paragraph and I had to do something about it.