This will pass

There is commotion all around me. I am sure that all this is just a dream, a bad nightmare rather. 'Life can never be so cruel, this can't be the world that I live in...' Yet somewhere deep in my heart I know I could be wrong. I have always heard of things like this happening to others, but had never given it a thought, probably because I never was directly in the line of fire. 'I cannot die in my dream'. I know for sure, that one does not die in one's dreams. It is this mysterious programming of the human mind that prevents us from experiencing death in dreams. Is it because we have never experienced death in life before, and that our dreams are based just on our experiences in life hitherto? But then, I wondered about all the dreams about her, things I wanted badly, but had never experienced, at least in this life.

I am surprised at how my mind could wander amidst all the horror. There was blood all around me. I don't know if it is mine or someone else's. Is this the blood of that child who was sitting next to me a while ago? No! It can't be... I cannot even imagine something so horrible happening to that beautiful thing. Such gore cannot belong to such beauty. Surely this is a dream, a product of my vile thoughts perhaps. Pinch me! I pinched myself. There is something wrong now... By now I should have woken up, perplexed and sweating perhaps, and mightily relieved. But I am still here. I am still covered with this blood.

I see a man crying out from a distance away. Hey wait! I am not able to hear him... oh no... I am unable to hear anything... I never noticed this until now. Can we listen to others speaking in our dreams? Or does our mind pretend it is listening, all the while aware unconsciously of what the next chain of events and thoughts is going to be? I try to listen to his cries. I can see that he is in great pain, but I cannot listen to his pain. However odd this may seem, I thank God for not allowing me to listen to him... I just couldn't have taken it. All I can hear is a deafening silence.. I notice he is covered in blood too. Everything around us is black and red. I am reminded of the movie 300. Blood everywhere. The demonic side of humankind. Blood... death.

I remember I wasn't sleeping. This is not a dream. Sadly, this is all happening. And this time, it happens to me. A Saturday evening gone horribly wrong. What started out with joy, and children cheering to a laser show ends in this gore. Why? Why me? Why us? Why that kid who sat next to me? Why this man who I can't listen to? Why do this at all? I don't want to live through this. I cannot take this pain. I cannot accept such a life, which doesn't distinguish between beauty and gore. I don't want this. I want to die. I should have been killed too. I weep. I cry.

Then I hear a voice. Oh how calm it is! How very soothing, yet so authoritative, so dignified. Is this what they call the voice of the mind? The voice of God? The voice calms me. Just listening to it is sufficient to drive away the pain, the agony, the misery. This can't be a mortal speaking out. This isn't merely a voice, this is knowledge in all its glory, making itself heard at a time I need it most. The voice tells me to calm down and accept what has happened. It tells me all that happens, happens for the best. I can see no sense in what it tells me. What good is there in this? Clearly it's rubbish. But somehow, I am drawn towards it and I listen to it intently. It tells me that this will pass. The world was not this cruel at a time not too long ago, and this cruelty cannot last long as well. It tells me that the world is going to change. It asks me to trust it on this. 'The world will change. Trust me. All this will pass. I will not tolerate such terror in my creation. I wish as much as you do that this ends. But giving up and submitting to such terror won't help. Stand up. Fight against this. It is then that I can see the change that I know will eventually dawn. If you cannot fight, at least don't give up. Don't let your spirit die. These people, these elements, they can take your body, your happiness, all the beauty and peace there is; but they cannot take your spirit. Your spirit is under your control. It is upto you to defend it, or to surrender it. Listen wisely, and choose with care. Never give up.'

No, it still doesn't make sense. The world will change? Can it then bring back the little girl in whose blood I am covered? Can it give me back my hearing power? Can it give that man the peace of mind he lost? No. It surely can't. It told me that all this is for good. It happened for good. Where is this good? I don't see any good here. There can be no good where there is such horror. But now I don't want to die. It told me never to give up. I have to live on to change things. I don't like this. I hate all that just happened. I shall fight against this. I choose not to submit my spirit.

- Dedicated to the victims of the recent Hyderabad twin blasts. Let us vow to change the world. Let us vow that there shall be a day when such horror is done away with. And that day I shall realise what the human spirit is all about.